Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Just pee around me
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize