The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
