why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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