Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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