i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize