I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Don't make out with my wife yet
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
