I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
