small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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