I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
