yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
