youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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