I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
