his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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