dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
