Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
