She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
