she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
