my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
