honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
