Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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