ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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