when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
ugly people sure do ruin things
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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