Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
