just come out here and I will go home with you...
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
