just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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