Non-Jews are for practice
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
