i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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