and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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