Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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