I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
