If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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