i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize