for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
