I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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