The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
