so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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