That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
