She tied me up with her honor cords...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize