shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
