question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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