haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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