The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I could make wine with my vomit
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm always down for nudity.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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