Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
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