I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
stop calling my apartment porn island.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
