Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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