you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
