This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
