nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize