Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
