Whatcha textin bout Willis?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
operation harelip BJ is a go
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You ate ashes out of my bong
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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