we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
