I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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