she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
