garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
