we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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