Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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