I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
