my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
