GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize